Collaborative Divorce
May 19, 2025A Divorce Process that can Protect Families
from Adversarial Court Proceedings
Collaborative Divorce, also known as Collaborative Law, is a specialized legal process in which divorcing couples agree to work together—along with a team of professionals trained in the Collaborative Divorce process—to reach an out-of-court settlement agreement. It is distinct from divorce mediation, which involves working with a third-party mediator—with or without the benefit of legal counsel.
The professionals involved in the Collaborative Divorce process include a lawyer for each party, a neutral financial professional, and a neutral mental health professional with training and experience in the Collaborative Divorce process. Unlike mediation, which a neutral third-party mediator leads, the lawyers and professional neutrals work together to guide the parties through the process of negotiating and resolving all issues in their divorce by agreement.
The goal of Collaborative Divorce is to avoid the adversarial legal system entirely, which can be costly and pits parties against one another in a way that is often detrimental to both parties’ best interests. If the Collaborative Divorce process is successful, the only interaction parties will have with court system is when they go to file their final settlement documents. The Collaborative Process is primarily used in divorce situations, but it can also be used in other areas of family law, like drafting prenuptial agreements and postnuptial agreements. In these situations, much like divorce, the Collaborative Process offers an option for couples who value clarity, mutual understanding, and cooperation over the inherently adversarial––and oftentimes destructive––nature of the traditional litigation approach.
The Collaborative Process was developed in the early 1990s, and today, is widely recognized around the country. In New Hampshire, where Orr & Reno is located, the New Hampshire Collaborative Law Act (RSA 490-J) was passed and signed into law on October 9, 2021. According to the American Bar Association, an estimated 20,000 trained Collaborative lawyers are practicing in the United States today, and an estimated 50,000 or more cases have been completed.
Benefits
When a divorcing couple embraces the Process and is effectively guided by skilled, collaboratively trained attorneys and other professionals, the outcome can be beneficial for both parties in numerous ways.
• It allows for creative, unrestricted ideas for settlement. Out-of-the-box thinking is encouraged.
• The process provides a high level of privacy and confidentiality.
• The commitment to full disclosure and transparency saves both parties from having to conduct lengthy and costly fact-finding discovery efforts in litigation.
• Children benefit because the process prioritizes parental communication and can create the foundation for cooperative co-parenting arrangements.
• Costs are determined by how long it takes the participants to settle. This simple reality can incentivize participants to negotiate in good faith, stay on track, and pursue an equitable settlement. The Collaborative Process is not inexpensive, but when it’s successful, it is far less costly than protracted litigation.
The Collaborative Process can also be much smoother—and far less stressful for participants—because it recognizes and supports the expression of emotions as a normal and expected part of the process. Even when a couple agrees on most things at the beginning, the face-to-face discussions that the process entails can be and often are cathartic for both parties. When emotional issues can be addressed in a safe setting—and responded to with compassion and encouragement—emotions become less entangled with the legal issues under discussion. The result is a smoother process to reaching a settlement.
How does it work?
A Collaborative Divorce begins when both parties sign a contract—the Participation Agreement—in which the parties commit to the Collaborative Process and to resolving their case out of court. From the outset, the couple also agrees to honest and full disclosure of information and to remain respectful.
Once the Participation Agreement is signed, a series of meetings is scheduled with the divorcing couple, their attorneys, and the rest of the Collaborative Divorce team. During these meetings, “the Team” works together to negotiate the terms of a settlement agreement and it identify and resolve issues by agreement. When agreement is reached, the attorneys develop final settlement documents that each party must sign. Then, a judge signs the divorce decree, finalizing the dissolution of the marriage.
The Collaborative Process requires a high level of cooperation and good faith from everyone. If there is significant conflict, mental health issues, or other problematic communication issues in play already, a Collaborative Divorce may not be the best option. One of the fundamental principles of Collaborative Divorce is that if the process fails, the divorcing couple must start all over again with new attorneys.
Is Collaborative Divorce right for you?
If you are considering a Collaborative Divorce, it is essential to evaluate your situation and clarify your goals before taking action. Meet with an experienced family law attorney trained in Collaborative Law. This person can help you understand the pros and cons of the Collaborative Process and help you determine if it is the right option for you. For an increasing number of divorcing couples, Collaborative Law empowers them to take maximum control over the divorce process and outcome while still maintaining a confidential attorney relationship.
If you are considering separation or divorce and are interested in further exploring the Collaborative Divorce process, don’t hesitate to contact Orr & Reno for assistance.
